By: Jennifer Watson-Choi
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It’s the most wonderfully stressful time of year!  Yes, the time for holiday cheer, family gatherings, presents, big dinners and cocktails is here.  For those who are caring for a dependent loved one, the holidays can be a dreaded time for multiple reasons.  Here are a few to mention:

The pressure of added responsibilities around the holidays can be overwhelming.  Caregivers may overextend themselves to try to create a memorable experience for those they love.   Routines are changed and that can make a big difference.  Find simpler ways to give more meaningful gifts.  Consider writing letters, giving used books or make compilation CD’s.  Cut down on the greeting cards you send and instead of personalizing each one consider a generic letter that can be given to everyone.  During this stressful time, don’t cut back on the time you spend as respite in efforts to do other pressing tasks.  Family caregivers need respite during the holidays, too!

The realization that the holidays will never be the same due to a loved one’s decline may bring a rush of emotions from frustration, anger and grief.  This is natural.  Holiday times come with a lot of expectations and family caregivers may find themselves grieving for the days that used to be.   The annual marker of the holidays can cause a caregiver to reflect on the previous holiday season and the changes that have happened since.   The holidays are also about hope for the New Year, but this can be difficult for those caring for loved ones with terminal illness or disease.  Be grateful that you’ve spent another year together and hope for what is realistic in the upcoming year.  Don’t fall into the trap of thinking this may be the last holiday together, as it is much better to remain optimistic and grateful.

If your loved one is homebound and you’re providing the homecare, the celebrations of the season can still be enjoyed.  If you’re feeling too overwhelmed and tired by the thought of planning a big family celebration, ask everyone to bring the holidays to you.   Or change the traditions this year – who says turkey pizza can’t be holiday food?  Decorate the house, play seasonal music, have family drop by and bring food and small gifts when they do.   You can also play simple activities that involve everyone such as watching a holiday movie, singing songs and playing board games.

Consider homecare for the holidays and beyond.  Use the time that family is together to discuss important care concerns such as bringing in a homecare provider for extra assistance.  Consider bringing in extra help for the holiday season.  This can help lighten the load and help you to focus on creating a memorable holiday season if that is indeed what you’re seeking.